A Blessing? No Thank You...

I have to say that Elizabeth S.  (you know who you are) has completely rocked my world, along Erin B.'s this week with one simple but complex statement.  "Who are we to say no thank you God, I don't want that blessing."  Okay so a little bit of back information, we were talking about not having anymore kids after this baby was born.  Although we feel that we do not want to have any permanent procedures done, we had talked about this being our last baby.  #4 rounding us out nicely into an even family.   Well when discussing this at our Mom's study the other day Elizabeth said that we are always quick to jump in and take all of the blessings in the form of financial or other worldly types but always quick to stop accepting the blessings of children when we feel that enough is enough.  This so doesn't make the impact the way the conversation did, but I have really been pondering this and wanted to write it down.  

So my thoughts are although it is not in my plans to have a multiple number of children or as I stated to Elizabeth, "as long as I don't have 8."  I have decided that this is completely up to God.  I have known many women who have had several kids and tried for years afterwards to get pregnant again without having any luck.  I also know many people who have had "the procedure" done and still ended up having another baby.  So it doesn't matter what we want it is what God wants and how we decided to accept the situation.  If we humble ourselves and let God have complete control, our family will be perfectly complete when He says that it is.

So as I am sitting here with a screaming #3 clinging to my leg and nausea setting in from #4, I am saying that God's will be done.  My prayer is that I can continue to keep my focus in the right direction and not keep looking at my own self desires.  I am blessed to be a stay at home momma and I know that what I am doing is raising blessings that were sent to us from Heaven. 

Each child that we raise is given to us as a gift.  We get to pick where we live, what job we do, what type of house or car to buy, but God is the one who chooses what children we are to raise.   Betsy Corning stated this in a study that I took 5 years ago before #1 was born and I have heard it again just in the last few months, its true and is a message that I hold very dear to my heart.

Oh, and after typing this up I talked with Erin and she stated that Elizabeth continued the impact at church yesterday by stating that our children are the only thing we get to take to Heaven with us.  If we raise them right and train them up in the way they should go then we will get to be in Heaven with them.  WOW!  Thanks Elizabeth for your wisdom.  You are an amazing person and I love your Godly insight. 

Where is your diaper?

Do you know how many times a day I ask where is your diaper? Well I don't either because I keep losing count.  I have started working on potty training with #3 because she will not even be wet and bring me her diaper, not a new one but the one she was wearing.  Or she comes in completely butt naked laughing when I say go find your diaper.  After placing her on the potty she will sit for what seems like and eternity and nothing.  I then put the dry diaper back on her and she takes off. Not even 5 minutes later we are back at it.  I have tried putting pants on her, but she has learned to take those off too.  I am so frustrated because she just won't keep the diaper on or use the potty.  I naked baby wouldn't bother me if she would use the potty and not my floor as an unloading dock.  Well I will keep praying about it and know that one day maybe not soon, but one day she will be using the potty and my question will change from where's your diaper? to where's your underwear? just like I state to #2 just as much as I do the diaper question to #3.

Overcoming Fears and Leaving Memories

I have always wanted to journal, to write my feelings and say that was my opinion, but it has been a personal struggle of mine and a fear.  When anyone has ever suggested that I write down my feelings, I would started having anxiety what people would think about me if they found it and read it.

I didn't want people knowing how I felt and surely didn't want anyone to laugh at me.  It hurts when you pour out your intimate thoughts and feelings just to be told that it wasn't as bad as it could have been, or that was just silly thinking. 

Well I have come to a conclusion that I want my kids to know that its normal to feel this way and that its okay to let people see the vulnerable side of yourself.  I want them to know how Mom felt when different events had taken place changing our lives.  To be able to celebrate the amazing blessings that our Awesome God gives us.  I want them to be able to praise Him for the times where He carried us during our hardest times too.  If I never write it down then how will they every know about it or remember it. 

We all know that one day dementia will set in and I am surely not going to be able to remember it all.  Yes we will have photos but they only show snapshots of trips, they don't convey what you were feeling when you watched your little girl take her first steps, or your son walking over the hill taking a hike with daddy.  When you hear your oldest child witnessing to her brother about how you need to have Jesus in your heart or see another child comforting their hurt sibling.    These are all things that are forever caught in your memories and need to be expressed by writing about them.  So that is what I am going to do.  I am going to write for my kids, for my family, for the future generations to be able to look back and see what we have done with our lives.

It won't be easy and I most likely won't be consistent to write everyday, but life brings busy times and it brings slow times.  When I can, I will write and hopefully one day I will be able to share all of my feelings without fear, the first step is starting and that is what I have done. The next step is to keep my goal in-mind despite what my critics might think.  This is not for everyone else this is for my husband and kids.  I love you all and will try my hardest to overcome this fear of expressing myself in away that the world can see and read. 

Counting your Blessings

So I have been wondering why is it that so many people either build you up or knock you down when you decide to have more than 2 kids.  Oh its stretching it to have 3 kids and having 4 is almost unheard of these days.  We have 3 wonderful blessings and want to have another baby, but every time we talk to family about it they pretty much say we are crazy and that we should stop while we are ahead.  But our friends and church family are all very supportive and say that children are a blessing from God and that we should have more if we feel that's what God wants us to do. 

Well I have really been praying about this and have come to the conclusion: No one has ever told me that they wished they would have stopped having kids before they had that last one.  However I have had many parents state that they wish they would have had at least one more child.  So in this whole process of trying to decided if we are to have another child, or shall I say blessing, we are leaving it in the Lords hands.  As for everyone else and their opinions I will place that with the Lord too.  I am praying that everyone will be happy and supportive of us having another baby when the time comes and that we will all be able to praise God for pouring out his blessings on us and seeing us fit to train another child in the way they should go.  

What to do about school?

I have been really struggling with what to do for schooling for about 5 years now.  Yes if anyone is counting that would be all the way back to when #1 was born.  See I have my education degree and can teach students from birth-3rd grade, but have been struggling with the question of what approach we are going to take.  It has been with much prayer and personal conviction that my husband and I have felt homeschooling is our best option. 

BUT, and this is a major BUT, I really didn't know how difficult it would be with a child that is very strong-willed, talkative, and distractable.  Okay so enough about the child, lets really get to the heart of the problem: Mom is lazy, distractable, unorganized, and easily angered when not getting her way.  OK! I will say it I am controlling!   So I have really been praying about this and said, "Lord if you want me to do this you will have to make the way."  So whats He do?  #1 has asked for over a week about getting back on schedule with schooling.  So I put her off by, "saying not right now honey," "we will get to it later."  This is the way that almost everything happens with her, it has to be her idea and on her timing. 

So this week we have started back on track with homeschooling and its going wonderful.  Now this is only one day back but none the less we got done what I felt needed done.  #1 was very excited when I showed her what we were doing, 100 Easy Lessons to Read by Siegfried Engelmann. I have had a number of people tell me they have used this with their kids and achieved great success.  Well this is the 5th time that we are trying it because I would get frustrated and end up irritated at #1 and stop.  It was not fair to her and I didn't want to suck the fun out of learning so I just stopped teaching with it.  Well I actually showed her what we were using the book for and she simply stated, "I didn't know that was why we were doing this."  I know your probably thinging, Jee Mom shouldn't you have at least told her what your expectation was?  Yes, and I did and she is excited about it now and looks forward to doing it each day.

So I guess I have already learned that I need to take a different approach to schooling than I would if I were to teach in a classroom with the community schools.  I need to let her know why we are doing things for she needs to see the big picture before we start, I need to tell her the steps and then guide her on each one, and I need to keep her on task without getting upset she is talking a mile a minute.  This all put into perspective has made me realize that #1 will excel at home schooling if I change my approach as opposed to make her conform to my teaching style. 

Birth Stories for #1, #2, & #3

We have 3 beautiful children who can all say, “Daddy helped born me. “  Our family’s journey started in 2006 with our first daughter.  We knew that we didn’t want the traditional knock ‘em out, drag ‘em out birth that all of our other family members had experienced.  So after doing some research I stumbled onto The Husband Coached Childbirth.  After reading it, I thought with the proper training I can do this, and so I did 3 times. 

Our first daughter was born 5 days past her due date with only 7 ½ hours of labor.  We were able to do most of the laboring in the quietness of our own home arriving at the hospital dilated to 8 cm and ready to deliver.   The nurses were actually shocked that I was so far along and acting as if my labor had just started.  We used several different techniques, but our favorite was the labor dance.  This helped me take most of the pressure from the contractions off of my belly and let my body do what it was designed to do.  When it was time to push, my bag of water had still not broken and was bulging out about 3 inches with every push.  After 45 minutes of pushing and my water finally breaking, Daddy caught a beautiful 6 lbs 13 oz. #1.   We laugh to this day because he paused and said, “It’s a…..It’s a girl.” When my husband had caught #1 she was face down and it took him a minute to figure out that she was a girl.  

We then had our son #2 in 2008; we again relied on the Bradley method.  This pregnancy also went 5 days past the estimated due date and although the labor time was the same from start to finish, I pushed for 3 hours.  If I had not been prepared, I know that I would have given up and opted for the epidural.  But instead, my husband helped me use the training that we had been given to allow  my body to do what nature had intended, give birth without intervention of any kind.  The major issue was that he had a very large head and just did not want to come down the birth canal.  Even with 3 hours of pushing, my husband and I were able to utilize the training; we had received from the Bradley classes to stay calm and focused to help our son come down the birth canal without the use of a vacuum or forceps.  After many different laboring positions, my red headed #2 was born weighing in at 8 lbs. 13 oz.

Our third child is a story to tell and an awesome testimony to how the Bradley method training can make a world of difference when in labor.  I expected to be over due again around 5 days but it actually ended up being 11 days past our due date and still no baby.  So the night before I was scheduled for a stress test, my husband, who is a 1chiropractor, adjusted me and we went to bed hoping that labor would start soon.  Around 2:00 am I woke up with what I thought might be early labor, the pains weren’t really strong, but I could tell that something was happening.  After trying to relax in several different laboring positions, I woke up my husband and told him that I was in labor and that I was going to shower to help relax my muscles.  Since I was so calm he went back to sleep not realizing that I was really in labor. 

About 20 minutes later the contractions were getting stronger and my mouth was starting to dry out so I woke him up again.  I told him that I needed his help with getting me through the contractions and although  I was saying I needed help he didn’t hurry because  I was staying so calm.  He timed 2 contractions and my water broke.  My husband says that I told him I needed to push, but he wouldn’t let me because we needed to get to the hospital.  As I was sitting in the bathroom he started running around trying to find my dress and the other items we needed to take.  He finally gave me a large night gown and said, “This will have to work.”  After getting me in the van, my husband almost forgot to put his shoes on because everything was happening so fast.  I calmly asked him if he had remembered the camera because I wanted to make sure to get photos of the delivery.   As he drove us to the hospital, I labored in the pelvic rock position in the back of the van where we had taken out one of the middle seats earlier that week. 

This part is the surreal part, it normally takes 15 minutes to get to the hospital and it seemed like it was only a few minutes to me since I was so focused on what I was doing.  As we exited off the 4-lane, I felt the baby crowning but didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to distract my husband from getting us to the hospital.  As we pulled up to the doors at the hospital he jumped out and opened the van door, stopping long enough to say he was getting a wheelchair.  I said, “I think it’s a little late,” but he didn’t hear me, he was already gone.  My husband said that as he rushed into the hospital the security guard, who was an older gentleman, had started moving slowly to get the wheelchair as if this was just another husband overreacting to a wife in labor.  When he came back out to me, he got halfway there and saw me holding our daughter on my chest wrapped in the towels we had laid under me.  He then ran back inside and said, “Forget the wheelchair, she’s had the baby!”  The next thing I knew there was a sea of green gowned people, midwife and nurses, running out to the van to assist in the post delivery.   The part I love the most is that not only did I catch my little girl, but I also go to cut the cord.  What a thrill it was!

After getting up to the hospital room to make sure everything was okay with our daughter, my husband and I drank some celebratory orange juice and then I took a shower about 30 minutes later.  Our daughter #3 was born at 4:05 am weighing in at 8 lbs. 9 oz. with a perfectly shaped head.

To this day, 9 months later, I am amazed at how calm I was when delivering #3.  I know that had I not prepared myself for what was supposed to happen, I would not have been able to stay so calm and deliver our own daughter by myself without anyone’s help.   It is empowering to know that we have the ability to prepare ourselves for the birthday of our children and bring them into the world the natural way. 

Where we are in life

I have really been thinking about a lot of things lately.  Why do we have the things that we have?  Why don't we have this? or that?  Why didn't I do such n such?  These questions have led me to the conclusion that I want to be content in my life and where we are.  Take everyday for what it is a GIFT from GOD!

Each day I look at my 3 beautiful kids and say what did I do to get such an awesome blessing?  How did I get to be so luck to stay home and raise my 3 kids?  Although times are not always easy, I want to always remember that this is what God has asked of me and I will do it to my best ability and when I fall short, God will pick me up and help lead me.  I feel that sometimes I don't have the knowledge, patience, or even the skills to do this, but I know that He will give me everything that I need at the time that I need it.  My Mom told me today that God wont lead us to it, without walking us through it.  This is a major statement for me since right now is a very busy time in our lives with the kids being 4, 2, and 8 1/2 mo., running our own business, starting home schooling, helping at church and so many other things that just make up what we call life.


I hope and pray that I am able to take a minute everyday, during the day, and continue to thank God for ALL that he has given me.  Since on of my favorite things to do is to wait until the kids are in bed and asleep so that I can go and check on them, pulling the covers up and saying a nighttime prayer for the blessings that God gave me.  I would like to make a time during the day that I show my kids how much they are loved.  I want my children to look back and know that their parents loved them so much that words will never be able to express what is in our hearts.

Can you hold it?

We were riding in the car the other day when of course you get the I have to go peepee from 2.  He started bouncing his legs like the world was going to end because his bladder was about to explode.  No granted this wouldn't have been that big of a deal except we had just gotten about 2 miles from the house when this statement was made.  Since we were just far enough away that it would have been worse to go back home, my husband and #2 had the following conversation.

#2: I gotta go peepee! I gotta go peepeee!
Dad: Can you hold it bubby?
#2: I can't hold it, I have a book in this hand and a cup in this one....
 Mom: (laughing uncontrollably in my hand)

Now I think that this just goes to show that we need to be very clear on the way that we phrase questions to our kids.  #2 really couldn't hold it because his hands were full.  But it all ended well one quick restaurant bathroom stop later we were on the road again and headed for our destination.

Funny Facebook Posts

February 2, 2011: 3 is crawling all over the place at 7 months - GO! MYELIN GO!

August 13, 2010: 3 just rolled over from her bell onto her back 3 times in a row.

August 4, 2010: Hoping that 2's Cookie monster underwear will be a motivator to stay dry. He hated that Diego was on the pullups and screamed when we tried to get him to wear them. He likes his diapers that have Cookie on them so I hope he will like the underwear just as much. (Very comical really) 

July 25, 2010: Had lots of fun at 2's birthday party yesterday. He blew out the candle great and we could actually eat a spit free cake. Think that one goes in the record book for a 2 year-old.

July 22, 2010: Had a wonderful wake-up call this morning. All the kids took part: 1 and 2 found their harmonicas and were running around the house playing them at 7 am and 3 decides that she is going to loudly fill her diaper. Ah motherhood in the morning.

July 17, 2010: So glad my hubby had a wonderful birthday even though he didnt get to open the cards the kids made for him since 1 gave it to him the same day she made it. Little stinker just can't keep a secret or a suprise.

July 11, 2010: Another conversation with 1 for the books:

Mom: 1 bring your snack back to the kitchen.

1: (No response)
...
Mom: Did you hear me?

1: No I couldn't hear you my mouth was full....

Mom: 1 you hear with your ears not your mouth.

Just another day in motherhood....

July 8th, 2010: I was asked to describe in 5 words what describes my life since becoming a mom/being pregnant here's what I came up with to sum it all up ~never-ending life changing adventure!~

July 2nd, 2010: Well the Hubby, 1, & 2 were going to camp out in the backyard tonight. So far 2 is crashed out in his bed & we will see if 1  stays outside all night. What an adventure her first campout with Dad. Oh we also roasted marshmallows over the fire tonight the kids loved it.

July 1st, 2010: Just finished an exciting game of Chutes & Ladders with 1. She then tells me that the game made her VERRRRY hungry and that she needs a snack. LOL where do they come up with this stuff?

When is it time to clean the house? When you can't walk 2 feet without stepping over a toy in every direction and in ever room. Might be time to clean up the toys. Okay...who wants to teach my kids the clean up song? 

June 23, 2010: 3 was born this morning at 4:05 weighing in at 8lbs 9oz. Birth place our van outside the hospital door.....

June 11, 2010: 1 told me yesterday that the baby would be here in this many days and held up for fingers. Today she said its only 3 more days mom till I meet the baby. We will see the actual due date is tomorrow. Will keep you all posted.... (This was not a correct prediction)

February 6, 2010: Okay so I am really seeing the difference between boys and girls today: We have a snack of cereal and the kids want to save it for later their places of storage are totally different. 1 leaves hers in the bowl and takes it to the counter, 2 sticks his in the footies of his PJ's for mom to discover when she is taking him potty. What adventure!

January 12, 2010: Starting to feel the baby the move I love this part of pregnancy

December 26, 2009: I want my friends from Iowa to send me some snow! We want to build another snowman since somebody knocked ours over and we had to tell 1 it was sleeping then it rained on Christmas day and melted the poor thing..... 

1 has all of a sudden decided to become the dress-up queen and a little mommy at the same time. Funny how their little imaginations work...

December 21, 2009: Just came to the realization that when you hand your child a hotdog and sing the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse song its time for a mommy break.....

December 18, 2009: We are expecting #3 & peppermint is great with my upset stomach. Well 1 and I had an interesting conversation because of it: 

1: What is that mommy? 

Me: peppermint for my tummy 

1: Why? 

Me: Because I have a baby in my belly. 

1: Why? 

Me: Because God wants you to have another brother you a sister? 

1: A brother like 2 or a sister like me? 

ME: Yup! 

1: Can we get a puppy? 

Me: ...(Speachless)

December 17, 2009: I was just told I smell like a hotdog wonder if thats a good thing or not? Bet you can't guess what we had for lunch and by the way it was actually the towel on my shoulder that had the hotdog smell on it.

November 10, 2009: Tried Chia breakfast cereal for the kids this morning it looked like the bowl exploded on 2's face. I wonder how much really went in him? Hopefully it was the same amount he was wearing, if so he ate a GREAT breakfast. 

November 5, 2009:1 just called and asked me (dad) if I was singing to her on the radio. How cute!

October 2, 2009: So excited about what the future has to bring many suprises and fun for the next year. Plus 1 is turning 3 and 2 chatters non stop boy wish I could decode what he is saying.

August 12, 2009: Loving the fact that 1 said she wanted to play at the big sand box, aka the beach. Oh to think like a kid again LOL!

May 30, 2009: Update on 2: He is not taking just a few steps I could almost say the child is running. He is off and gone before we can catch him. I thought 1 was an early walker but 2 has shown the sibling rivalry has started and beat her by a few months.

April 28, 2009: Getting all emotional that 2 is 9 months old and took his first steps....

April 10, 2009: Wishing 2's top teeth would just come in already...

February 17, 2009: Is watching 1 walk to the potty with her underwear at her ankles.

January 7, 2009: Wondering how kids learn to manipulate their parents so young: 1 gets TV for pottying and she has to go about every 1/2 hour (when the show goes off) LOL!

January 6, 2009: Is now trying to figure out how to make the words on my page bigger, 1 somehow made everything very very tiny....

 January 4, 2009: Getting ready to put 2 down for a nap...he's sucha happy baby even when he is tired.

August 8, 2008: Having a tea party with Tori.

July 21, 2008: Taking care of her new baby BOY!

 

 

Yummm Pizza!

Okay, Valentine's Day was on Monday and we didn't get to have dinner together due to an outing I had scheduled that ended up taking the whole evening.  So my wonderful husband decided to surprise me last night when he got home with pizza. (If you don't already know this is my favorite food outside of steak and potato.)  As we were sitting down to watch TV and enjoy our pippin hot pizza, we here from the back bedroom: "Yummm, I smell pizza!."  We looked at each other and just shook our heads and laughed, leave it to #1 to be on the other side of the house and detect that there is pizza in the house.

Alphabet Song

As I walked in the kitchen last night #1 was standing in front of the phonics letters on the dishwasher.  She was singing her alphabet, as she was singing she would take the letters and put them in order. She got to L,M,N,O, and sung them together as "L, mino."  She then turned and said, "Mom what does mino look like?"  So I told her to sing the song again but slower. So she got to the same spot and sang L, mmmmiiiinnnnnoooo..." she proceeded to do this twice.  I then sang it for her and she says, "Oh, its M I know what that one looks like!"

So cute I love her enthusiasm!  A spark for learning has appeared and I just cant wait to see what this kid can do.

Amazing Babysitters!

I have the most amazing girls that watch my kids.  They are 4 sisters that love on my kids and as far as I can tell never get tired of my kids hanging all over them.  Its awesome to have prayers answered for great care for your kids when your not around, especially since we deal with all of the food allergies with #1.

The girls, we will call them the K-girls, are ages: 10, 12, 14, and 16.  They have always taken time to make my kids feel loved.  The other thing that I think is amazing is although I have only known them for a short 6 months, I completely love these girls as if they were my own family.  We go to church with them and my kids are always asking if they are going to see them.  Its actually quite comical that anytime we are with them my son, #2, gets really upset when they have to leave. 

Who would have thought that God would answer my prayers for being able to leave my kids and not worry would come from these 4 amazing girls.  I don't think they will ever now how much they have already impacted our lives and I am so excited to see what the years have to offer in ways of friendship between them and my kids.

Don't Eat ME!

Lunch time is always entertaining to say the least at our house.  We have 1 who has to have everything just the way she likes it, 2 who never has underwear on, and 3 who just to eat and doesn't understand that if she wants it warm then I have to heat it up.  Well today was no exception.  As I'm getting lunch ready 1 ask for pretzels and raisins (she's on a raisin kick) and so I told her she had to eat a hot dog and pickle too. Her response, "pickles aren't my favorite but...okay."

So I fix lunch and we are sitting down 2 starts taking his pretzels and picking up his raisins with them screaming "don't eat me their my friends."  To funny he did this for all of his raisins until they were gone.  I would have loved to had a window into his imagination and see exactly what he was thinking about.

Lets Get Started

So I have absolutely no idea what I am doing starting a blog but have been really feeling that I need to start recording things that my kids do and say along with getting my thoughts written out somewhere.  So, I thought why not start a blog. 

No I am not a writer and no I do not wish to be.  I am not writing for entertainment purposes but I do hope that if you stumble upon my blog you will enjoy getting to know me and my kids who I will call 1, 2, and 3.  This is our family code for when we are talking about them and they are around, but we don't want them to know that we are talking about them.  One of my major concerns as a mom is that I never knowingly embarrass my kids.

A little background knowledge on my kids:

The Husband - He is a loving husband and father that does everything he can to help guide our family to be a Christ centered home with lots of family fun! He is my gift from God! (Thank you!)

1 - she is an adorable 4 yr-old that loves to sing and play dress-up.

2 - he is a red headed 2 yr-old that has a love for dragons and super heros.

3 - she is 7 months-old and loves her momma but also loves getting to explore her world.


So I hope that you will enjoy reading about the blessings of my family and the other things that I feel compelled to talk about.  I can't garantee that I will post on a regular basis, but  my goal is to post at least weekly.  We will see how it goes!